First and foremost, I'm a PC gamer. Yes, I'm slightly archaic, but I like to call myself smooth and retro. I like to twiddle with a keyboard, tap mouse buttons, and endlessly fiddle with bits of hardware and system crashes. It's the joy of being a lover of all things slightly broken - as is the PC platform.
So imagine my fury, when I have to spend money on something unrelated to my beloved black box of endless disappointment. Yes, the PC is forever betraying me, but I built it. As a 22 year old with no ambition for family, this ramshackle project of wires and screws is my baby. My errant child, forever running around with chocolate smeared on its mush screaming expletives it overheard.
What did I have to spend my money on? Another PlayStation 3. This takes my tally up to three of Sony's devices, with an extraordinarily four Xbox 360s to my name. I wouldn't mind if I was endlessly connected to Call of Duty, cursing at strangers and children, but I'm not. I rarely touch either, save for a quick game of FIFA.
But being someone who writes about videogames, and also regretfully spoilt, I need them. So off I dutifully go to the local GAME (EB to the US), and buy another. Handing over the money like I was balling out a drug dealing relative; shoving it into the car like I'd just procured the services of a hooker I would ultimately murder.
Because this PlayStation 3 will eventually kick the bucket. They always do. An assortment of rainbow colours will attack it, and I'll be able to glumly inform my friends that "yeah', it's the beige light of death. Yeah' nightmare, right?"
And at times like this, I always, always look towards the bastion of reliance of gaming that was my original SEGA Megadrive. I torture myself, berating either my PS3 or 360, sitting it aside my piano black Megadrive, screaming "Look at your older brother! Go on, look at him!"
Sometimes I'll go further, cleaning it with a pristine dust cloth, and finishing it off with a light smearing of WD-40 to give it an oily sheen. I'll purr and compliment as I do it, stopping to throw the occasional insult towards whatever offending console has caused my outrage.
My SEGA Megadrive is older than me, and it still works. I've never had to have more than one of any console ever. And now I've had 7 of this current generation, 8 if you include the Nintendo Wii - but who does?
I should be more angry. Screaming expletives at Sony and Microsoft, but in reality, I'm no longer in a white hot heat of aggression, no, now I am just disappointed in them.
And that should hurt them a lot more.